End of a decade... end of an era.

Well, 2010 is drawing to a close in a little over an hour, and it's got me thinking about a couple of things (surprisingly enough, not that I'm at home and not at a party. You know those nights where you just want to stay in and can't be bothered to deal with the rest of the world? Yeah, for me, that's happening tonight... too bad it's the biggest party night of the year!) such as what's changed for me this year, and what I've learned. It's definitely been an interesting year - some ups, some downs, and a lot of in betweens. But here's what I've come up with in regards to my year.

Maddie's 2010.

Good Things.
(because I think it's important to start on a happy note)

1. Applying for - and getting into - exchange for 2011. In 3 weeks, I'll be in the UK. And that's really exciting. And scary. But mostly exciting.

2. Music festivals. This year, I went to Big Day Out, Good Vibrations and Byron Bay Bluesfest. I love the gritty atmosphere of music festivals, where you just know that everyone in the audience is willing to brave extreme heat/rain/mud/sleep deprivation/intoxication just to partake in the live music. Nothing beats it.

3. Friends. I know that this one's pretty hokey, but when I think about it, I have done a lot with my friends this year. I've made new friends, re-connected with old acquaintances (including one who is now my boyfriend!), worked on other friendships and maintained a lot of my old ones. It's awesome, I love every single one of them.

4. Road-tripping. Kind of carrying on from both 2 and 3 on my list, I've been on a couple of wicked road trips this year. The first one was to Byron Bay - a 12 or 13 hour drive - for Bluesfest with my friend C and her boyfriend at the time. It was great until we hit a kangaroo coming back. The second one was in June, and with N, O and E, we drove up to the Sunshine Coast for a friend's birthday. Even though I was the only girl, I had an awesome time and definitely got some brilliant memories (and photos).

5. Housesitting. I got to house sit for about 3 weeks a couple of months ago, and really enjoyed the responsibility. I think I did an okay job too.

6. My 21st. This is kind of the last landmark birthday - after this, it's every time you begin a new decade. I had a great party, with a lot of my friends and family, and really couldn't have thought of a better way to bring in my technical adulthood.

7. Cafe Essen. In my city, there's this cafe that's populated with hipsters, indie kids, coffee connosseurs and anyone who enjoys a good feed. I've been there so many times this year (at the beginning, I was stalking a good-looking barista. But then I was seduced by the food and excellent coffee). I'm a coffee snob, and I have actually no idea what I would do if this place shut.

8. The Music. Well... I have a rather varied taste when it comes to my music, and this year I've enjoyed everything from The Smiths to Aphex Twin, Kid Cudi to P!nk, Jack Johnson to Yves Klein Blue. It's been a solid year.

9. Typo. I found this shop way back in January, and I swear to God I spend so much money there - and imagine spending much, much more. It's just fantastic.

10. Last but not least... Zambrero. How could I leave this off? The best burritos I've ever had. Vegetarian, beef, lamb, chicken... rice, tomato, corn, onion... lettuce, beans, sour cream, guacamole... it's like a party in my mouth and everyone's invited. I know this sounds like a plug, but you couldn't pay me to praise this place. Actually, you could probably pay me in burritos.


Bad things.
... because, let's be honest. It hasn't been a totally awesome year.

1. Leslie Nielsen dying. So sad.
2. Hitting the kangaroo on the aforementioned road trip.
3. The blame game - especially in regards to police car chases. The police aren't to blame, criminals are.
4. Seeing some of my friends hurt each other, even unintentionally.
5. Justin Bieber. 'Nuff said.

Top Ten Songs for 2010:

1. Florence & The Machine/Dizzee Rascal - You've Got the Dirtee Love (Live)
2. Birds of Tokyo - Plans
3. John Butler Trio - Revolution
4. Pendulum - ABC News Theme (Remix)
5. CeeLo Green - Fuck You!
6. Washington - Sunday Best
7. Sia - Bring Night
8. Chiddy Bang - Opposite of Adults
9. Janelle Monae - Tightrope
10. Adrian Lux - Teenage Crime

And an honourable mention to P!nk for "Raise Your Glass". It's just so catchy.

'Tis the season

So, it has been over a month since my last post. That's pretty shameful, but I guess that time flies when you're having fun. I finished my second year of Uni, got some pretty good results, spent a couple of days at the beach, have been to a handful of birthday and Christmas parties, and turned 21 yesterday. I'm having my party on Saturday night, which should be really fun. Then it's Christmas next week (although I'm still not entirely sure how it got to be this late in the year so fast...), for which I'll probably be working lots of shifts and somehow managing to buy the presents I've got left to get.

I have mixed feelings about Christmas. It used to be my favourite time of year - probably because it's so close to my birthday, but when I was younger I used to get so excited about Santa, presents and lots of interesting food. Even though my family wasn't super rich, my Dad always got really excited and that was kind of contagious. Then, when I was 15 and working in a supermarket, I realised that that sense of pending excitement I had was strangely missing as I worked double shifts up until the Big Day. Same thing the next year, and the year after that (except by then I was working at a cafe, which was much less harsh than Coles had been). The third year that I worked in the lead up, I was so blase about Christmas - until Boxing Day, when my Dad played these old tapes of Carols for the first time that season, which made me come home.

The year of my Gap Year - so the Christmas just after my 19th birthday - was exciting for me again, with the only difference being that I wasn't working, and had time to actually get excited. Then last year, it was back to that sense of indifference that I'd gotten used to in my teenage years.

This year, is different again. I'm not really indifferent, or being a total Scrooge like I was last year, but it doesn't feel like Christmas yet. It's really surreal. Still, I am looking forward to the food, and the family. Even though Santa feels like a relic of my childhood, he is still found in various places around my house at the moment (including in one particularly scary incarnation that reminds me of Chuckie from Child's Play, and which my Mum and I have petitioned in vain to have banished from the house). I decorated most of the tree this year, with great results - it's entirely decked out in red and green.

I think that as I've grown older, even though I've lost that sense of excitement, but I've gained an appreciation of the traditions that make this time of year so important. It really is about family, friends, food and stories that are shared amongst everyone. As much as Christmas has become one of the most commercial, capitalist entities of our time, those values (I think, at least) will always be around. And that's why Christmas is special.

So hear this, Robert Zimmerman...

Nearly at the end of the semester! Yay! There's only two thousand words on the internationalism of German cinema from the 1990s to the present in between myself and freedom. I think I'm going to use Goodbye Lenin! and either The Nasty Girl or Beyond Silence for my films... or maybe The Lives of Others or Run, Lola, Run. They're all pretty solid.



In other news, Beauty and the Geek is making me lose faith in humanity. I'd like to say that I'm trying not to watch it; my Mum has it on in the background. It's really awful. Although, if one of my friends ever decided to enter the show, I'd support them wholeheartedly. It WOULD be funny, for me at least.

Fooooood

Okay, so you know how a while ago I wrote an entry about how easy it is to photograph food badly? And how, when that's done, it's more nauseating than enticing to look at food? Well, anyway, I found a new blog that completely contradicts that.






It's a little blog called "The Boyfriend Replacement", and it's found at http://boyfriendreplacement.tumblr.com/, and I swear to God that it has made me so hungry, and craving things I haven't eaten in ages. Like fried rice. Nutella straight from the jar. Tomato soup. Cupcakes (although, I'm always craving cupcakes!). Penne with vegetables. Onion rings. Strawberry tarts. Baklava. Hot chips. My mouth is watering.



I really like food.

Words

This video speaks for itself, really. A good friend described it as a "word-gasm", and I think she's probably just about right.




And as an aside, I'm currently having a love affair with the word "evocative". It's just so full, so lucious to say... it's so, well, evocative of emotions and senses. Lovely.

Nuances

I'm currently reading a crappy chick-lit novel called "Weekend in Paris", by Robyn Sisman. It's pretty good... I like the main character etc etc, but there is by far one of the worst Australian stereotypes featured in there. It's making the book on the whole a lot less enjoyable, which is a shame.

Why, why, why, Robyn Sisman, did you feel the need to resort to annoying cliches to create a two-dimensional, shallow character?? It's incredibly frustrating.

What's in YOUR handbag?

I just found the ultimate in girlie voyeurism... a website dedicated to showing what's really in girl's handbags. Finally, I get to see if other people carry around as much crap in their bags that I do! (And the answer is yes, they do. I am not alone in my carrying of assorted paraphernalia in my generally oversized handbag). Interested? Check it out at http://fuckyeahwhatsinyourbag.tumblr.com/

And what's in mine? Well... I should probably make a list.

Wallet, keys (mostly), phone, ipod, makeup, camera, a novel, bottle of water, prescription sunnies and their case, normal sunnies, spare contact lenses, hand sanitiser, a pen (or more), a notebook (when I remember), painkillers, (in winter) gloves/scarf/hat, aaaaand lip balm. Not a bad effort, really.

Eat, Pray, Love

Nearly two weeks ago, I went and saw Eat Pray Love with my friend Hayley. I really enjoyed it - it hasn't had the best reviews, but I loved the cinematography and the way that they showed Italy, India and Bali when she was there. I also loved the soundtrack, which featured Neil Young, MIA, Aphex Twin and Mozart. I don't really understand why people seem to have hated the movie - I thought it was a nice, slow-moving film that reflected how life and relationships don't really work the way that we expect them to, but if you give them a chance, they will work for you.

Anyway, I went on the IMDB message boards for this film earlier today (when I was supposed to be writing an essay on Banksy, but that's by the by), and amongst all the people who loved or hated it, and one guy who inexplicably couldn't understand why on earth the main character ever left the USA, in his words the "greatest country in the world", I found one thread where the person who started it asked where in the world everyone else would go to eat, pray and love, just like Liz Gilbert in the movie (who went to Italy, India and Bali respectively). I thought this was a nice idea, but when I went to reply... I struggled.

I want to travel to lots of different places all over the world, but I don't really have any reason to want to go to those places, other than to see and experience them. I used to think that was enough, but now I'm feeling that if I'm ever going to even get close to cutting through my list of places to go, I should have some sort of order - or at least, a more cement reason for going there. After all, I sometimes think that my dream is to travel to amazing places, but my nightmare is to be 'just a tourist', who goes to amazing places only to say they've been there.

So after much consideration... here's my list.

EAT:
Turkey or Spain. I've been to Spain, and it's fabulous. The food, the atmosphere, everything. Paella! Sangria! Fresh bread! And I love Turkish food as it is here in Australia, and I'd love to make an educated comparison.

PRAY:
Morocco, because the architecture looks amazing and very reflective. Or Nepal, because the mountains seem as though they'd be cathartic and ideal for meditating on life in general.

LOVE:
Who knows? Where ever it finds me. Maybe Paisley in Scotland though... I am a sucker for the accent.

Beyond Silence

At Uni, I'm currently doing a unit on German cinema (which you might have picked up on in my earlier mentions of German directors like Fassbinder). Before the class, I'd seen a couple of movies by Wim Wenders, maybe one by Herzog, Run, Lola, Run and Goodbye Lenin!. But I'd never really thought about German movies other than the ones I'd come across.

Turns out, Germany has a really diverse national film industry. Yesterday, we were supposed to watch Der Blaue Engel, but due to technical difficulties, had to watch a film meant for a bit later in the term, 1996's Beyond Silence. And I loved it.

I'd never heard of Beyond Silence, or its director Caroline Links before the film, and maybe that lack of expectation helped. But it's about a German family, and in particular a young girl called Lara who is a bridge between the real world and her deaf parents. Her father's sister is a gifted clarinetist, who gives Lara her clarinet and supports her musical talent. Lara's father is more resentful of the music, because he can't hear it and is petrified of losing Lara to something he can't relate to. I won't spoil the ending, but I teared up more than once, and really, really enjoyed the film. I can't believe it didn't win Best Foreign Language film at the Oscars that year.

It's a quiet, poetic film that sometimes borders on the sentimental, but I'd definitely recommend it - I think I might try and learn sign language now!

David Bowie

Well, it's that time of year again. The Big Day Out official first announcement has been made, which for me at least is the signal to start checking out the lineups for the summer festivals. I'm a mad music festival goer, for a few reasons. One of these is that I just adore the festival setup, and another is that although I love live music, my bank account is much more forgiving towards a $150 festival where I get to see LOTS of bands, than if I spent >$70 per ticket for each band I wanted to see.


But I digress.


One of my favourite artists of all time is the legendary David Bowie. I just think he's awesome - he's got so many catchy songs, wore costumes that leave Lady Gaga for dead, recorded with some of the other greats including Queen and Mick Jagger, and had that brilliant cameo in Zoolander. For the last six years or so, David Bowie has been rumoured for festivals around the world, including BDO - although, he hasn't toured since 2004. Every year I get excited that he's maybe going to join the lineup, and every year I'm disappointed (although, probably not as disappointed as my friend Ben, who was a massive Bjork fan. He had a ticket to the 2008 BDO where she was playing, and couldn't afford the ticket to her sideshow. She then developed laryngitis and couldn't perform - poor Ben was devastated). However, now I'm getting worried. I'm not going to be in Australia for the 2011 Big Day Out - but the second announcement hasn't been made yet. For the first time in... ever, I'm really hoping that Bowie's not on the list. I think if he is, I'll probably cry a little bit. And then try and track him down in the UK.

Sherlock Holmes

I just had a sudden desire to watch Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes from last year - I really enjoyed it. It's really too bad that I don't have it on DVD yet. And have to actually do some Uni work.

Hidden Bookworld...

I want this, in my house.

Happiness

To explain the sudden influx of picture-posts, when I'm supposed to be doing assignments I tend to blog trawl and find pictures of things that are pleasing to mine eye. Not productive, but it keeps me happy :)

O do not love too long

This is sad, and retrospective, but I like it. It sounds like wisdom to impart to protect those you love.

But then again, maybe I just like it because Yeats was Irish.

You old so-and-so...

I jokingly refer to Oscar as my homeboy. But seriously.

(Not that I really know what a homeboy is...)

A Touchy Subject

I'm just going to come out and say it: I'm pro Gay Marriage.

It seems to be one of those recurring yet unresolved issues that circulates in national politics and yet holds international interest. We keep coming back to it, but can't seem to figure it out. Some countries have legalised it, most have not. In some countries, homosexual couples can be seen as de facto, but can't have a legally binding ceremony. And I don't really get why.

Being Catholic, I understand the religious doctrine surrounding homosexuality (and for the record, they're not against being gay, per se, just sex between two men or two women, because sex is purely for procreation which can only occur with a man and a woman). But I don't get why the government won't allow two people who love each other to get married in a civil ceremony.

What frustrates me is lobby groups who say that allowing gay people to get married goes against religious teachings, is unnatural, and undermines the traditional nature of both the marriage ceremony and the concept of the family.

To this, I call bullshit.

Marriage started out as a form of barter; it was a contract. As in, "I give you my daughter for that bit of land". The religious part came later, and if couples are seeking a civil ceremony, this is a moot point. It's not a religious ceremony.

Being gay is unnatural? It might not be the norm, but it's definitely not unnatural. It's as natural as me wearing glasses, being pale, or having curly hair. It's as natural as preferring white chocolate to dark. It's as natural as not liking Vegemite, or wanting to listen to Iggy Pop. It's an intrinsic matter of preference that is one of the most natural thing in the world, but for some reason cannot be seen as such. It's a classic case of "othering" - creating an 'other' that is not you, and failing to understand it.

And as to challenging the nature of the family, I fail to see the issue. Two people of the same sex love each other, and want to raise children together? I think that's awesome. There doesn't seem to be that much of an issue with single-parent families. And gay couples have to plan their children - they're not 'accidents', as they can be even in heterosexual marriages. I honestly think that children being raised by two men or two women who truly love each other is better than being raised by a man and a woman who can't get along, and who are 'staying together for the kids'.

Then there's the points that are often glossed over: the high divorce rate amongst hetero couples, the amount of straight couples who marry but don't have children, and the amount of straight couples who have children but don't marry. The latter two are never doubted as 'family', so why should a gay couple?

When it boils down to it, I think that if two people love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together, a piece of outdated legislation shouldn't stop them. If gay couples can be recognised by Centrelink as being de facto, then why can't they take that next step if they wish? If they don't want to, they don't have to. But everyone deserves that choice.

Magic and Words

Art is not about thinking something up. It is the opposite - getting something down.
- Julia Cameron


I'm at the tail end of my study for my Art History image test tomorrow. Pretty good feeling. Anway, I thouight I'd share a bit of Signac. He never considered himself an artist, but he knew a lot of the Impressionists and Post-Impressionists in Paris, and clearly something rubbed off. This is his awesome painting "Portrait of Felix Feneon against an enamel background of rhythmic beats and angles, tones and colours", from 1890. Phew. I'm impressed I remembered that - I think that's the first time I didn't cheat and look at my notes!

But I digress. Here's the painting (it's a work of pointilism). Isn't it marvellous?

Then, because really if there's one thing I'm good at, it's distracting myself, I found a function on my camera that lets me take good photos of written documents. And let me tell you, it made my test notes look really good!

Artistry

I've decided that when I grow up, I want to be an artist.

I don't know what kind though - I love taking photos, but I think that when it comes to using my hands (in drawing/painting/printmaking etc) I need to take my mind out of the equation. That's always been my worst habit when creating - I think too much, and then my thoughts interfere with my work.

Really though, I love the idea of sitting in a room or outside (en plein air) with a box of paints or some pencils and creating something with my hands. Maybe that's a romantic view, but I think that the visual arts are something that can be romanticised and not lose their impact.



Hmmm. Something to work towards.

Matter of Fiction

I am a great lover of fiction. Not even good fiction - I'm not after critical acclaim, or existential enlightenment, or anything else, really. I read purely because I can lose myself in other worlds, and I love it. It's what I do to really make myself chill out during term time - which is probably why I read things that are usually pretty run-of-the-mill; dodgy, even. Not that I'm complaining with reading for school - on the contrary. I enjoy researching for my assignments (probably because I like what I'm studying, I think it makes a difference), and while I'm not always known to do my readings for my classes, I am generally interested in the subject matter and like learning things.

But...

When it boils down to it, I like crappy novels. I like romance - I like to know that the main character is going to get their romantic interest (or at least, the one who is best for them). I get caught up in adventure. I write myself into the book, and then feel as though I'm living it. At the moment, I'm reading Isabel Allende's Zorro, which is actually pretty good going. But, such is the nature of assessment and work and social lives, I don't get the chance to read that much. If I don't have any other commitments, I can rip through a novel in a day or two. But at the moment, it's taking me a couple of weeks. Which is annoying (for me), but really, as long as I get to snatch moments here and there to read something that I want to read - as opposed to something that I have to read - I tend to feel more like myself. I need it. I adore that sense of possibility that comes with opening a new book, or standing in a bookshop surrounded by unread paperbacks.

Nothing beats it.

Back to the Future

So, the day that Back to the Future went back to the future was about two months ago (6th July, 2010). This depresses me somewhat; I want a hoverboard!!

And as an aside, chicken-flavoured two minute noodles taste like childhood. I just made myself up some for lunch, and the memories came flooding back. Funny how that happens.

Wim Wenders

I adore Wim. Seriously.

Sex and violence was never really my cup of tea; I was always more into sax and violins.

Funny lookin' dudes

In my film tute the other day (we were supposed to be talking about Werner Herzog's documentaries La Soufriere and Lessons of Darkness) we went a little bit off topic from Herzog's particular brand of filmmaking and into rather more superficial territory. One of the guys in my class mentioned how he'd pictured Herzog as being this kind of crazy looking guy, with frizzy hair and a camera on his shoulder. Or with huge glasses. Or really, really ugly. Instead, he got really surprised when a quick Google venture showed him that Werner Herzog is a pretty average-looking man. He looks kind of like someone who could be your friend's dad, or an uncle, or something. Not like the man who seems to hate his female characters and once tried to hoist a ship over a mountain in South America rather than figuring out the waterways (for the movie Fitzcarraldo). And the guy in my tute had a point - turns out that most of us had pictured Herzog as looking more like Klaus Kinski (the actor he used in most of his films, and then later made a documentary about their stormy relationship called My Best Fiend. They're seen below, and I think this picture doubles as the DVD cover!)





I think what threw us is that it sometimes seems that being a little bit crazy looking is a prerequisite for making interesting films. I mean, look at Woody Allen. Wim Wenders (to the left). Even Jim Jarmusch (on the right) - who is one of my favourite people in the world, but admittedly, he looks a bit strange. As an aside, I really want Jim Jarmusch and Tom Waits to be friends with my Dad, because I think it would be awesome to come home and have them hanging out in my garage, smoking and listening to awesome music. Just saying.

What I find really interesting is that Klaus Kinski's real-life daughter is Nastassja Kinski (on the left), from movies like Paris, Texas. Now, Klaus is not exactly a good lookin' guy. But his daughter - where did she come from? She's gorgeous!! And Nastassja's daugher Sonja is even more attractive. As one of my very good friends would say, she's slammin'. Klaus must look at these ladies and be very glad with the way they turned out.

More Fassbinder

I think I'm a little bit in love! He gets it...

It's true, in Paris I sit in a cafe, drink, play pinball, listen to music and write my screenplays. In Munich, too, I always have the radio on; I can get up, watch TV, and so on. I have to have an atmosphere where I can get up and do something else. These incredibly white sheets of paper really have something terrifying, something paralysing about them if I tell myself they've got to be filled up with writing. For me, writing isn't a sacred act, to be carried out in absolute silence. I find writing strenuous, because you have to formulate in words something that already happened in your head.

That's the first time I've ever had anyone totally agree with me on that point. As an aside: I also think in fragments when assessment's due, like now.

Fassbinder

I think [the world is becoming a place where] people become more and more alike. And that means that individualists... people who react a little differently to reality have to ask themselves whether they can still afford to have opinions. Whether it's worth it. And that's where castration of the imagination begins.

Knowing the works of Rainer Werner Fassbinder, I don't think that was ever a risk for him.

Food

Food is one of those things... everyone needs it to survive, yet too much or too little can cause major problems. Some of it's ridiculously good for you, but tastes bad, and some is ridiculously bad for you, but tastes good. Today as I was blog trawling through the inter nets, I realised that food is one of those things that maybe shouldn't be photographed by just anyone. When it's good, it looks friggin' awesome. But when it's bad, it's enough to make you nauseated. Things like ice cream sundaes, for example, or brownies, or really cute cupcakes, tend to always look good. Ditto coffee. However, things like burgers, pizza, curry and bacon and eggs should only be attempted by the experts; if you get the slightly wrong angle suddenly the entire meal looks as though it's dripping in oil, grease and other things that are just plain nasty.

On a similar note, I'm here to declare my love of coffee and my hatred of Starbucks. I'm all for big, capitalistic corporations (!) but seriously. A little bit of finesse, please. I would like a well-made cappucino, not a piss-weak ginormous cup of milk and sugar topped with cream and caramel and sprinkles, with half a burnt shot of espresso thrown in for good measure.

Starbucks: Coffee for people who don't like coffee.

Whimsical dreaming...

I want to live in the world of Tim Walker.

He's a British photographer, working in London, who I guess you'd call a fashion photographer - but I think that to limit him to that would be unfair to his work and talent.

Anyway, what I personally really like about Walker's photographs is the whimsical, nostalgic nature of his images. They kind of feel like a childhood memory, filled with interesting shapes and soft colours - really, I wish my childhood had been more like his pictures. I guess as well, there's something that's remniscient of Alice in Wonderland; an endless memory that mixes reality with an undeniable sense of fantasy. Dresses that hang from trees, a room decorated with cakes, enormous cameras and toy aeroplanes, spiralling staircases, old houses, a gian swan being assembled on the beach at dawn, library camp-outs and bubble baths filled to overflowing are the kinds of things that feature in his works; while not often featuring children as the subject of the images, there is something that pulls the viewer back to childhood, losing them in memories that are half real and half dream.

A lot of his works remind me of older, medieval-reference stories and paintings, not necessarily in style but in mood. There is something undeniably old-world about his photos, which I really appreciate. He also has works in the permanent collections of the V&A museum in London (one of my favourite museum/galleries in the world. It excites me!).

I don't often gush over a single photographer in this way (with the exception of Annie Leibovitz, whom I think suffers from being overrated), but his works just affect me. It must be the beautiful people in surreal settings, the soft lighting and the pretty dresses. They also remind me of Florence and the Machine's video clip for "Rabbit Heart (Raise it Up)", which I think is just beautiful.

Maybe deep down, I just want to live a life of frivolity and tea parties; pretty dresses and make-believe. They've always appealed. But, for now, I'll be happy to lose myself in Tim Walker.

Minding P's and Q's

... which actually means mind your pints and quarts, not please and thank you (geddit? Than-Q? Eeeeehhh).

As you could probably tell by my last entry, I've been suffering a bit of the melancholy lately. (Heads up, I wasn't really feeling lonely; just reflecting on the notion of it). But this is less about the grey cloud that surrounds us every now and again, and more about something that makes me annoyed every time I bear witness.

When I was growing up, it was always stressed that I must mind my manners. You know, calling adults Mr. and Mrs. Lastname, saying please and thank you, standing aside to let people pass, not talking while eating, and so on. What this lead to was a basic consideration for other people (or at least, I like to think so), because really: it's nice when people use manners. It becomes a mark of respect, because if I give it then surely I will receive it in turn. Carrying on from this, my semi-intolerant nature has meant that I absolutely hate feeling like I've been rude to someone, and I detest it when people are rude to me. As my Mum used to say: Manners don't cost a thing, but they're worth a lot.

Unfortunately, a lot of people young and old seem to have forgotten this. I've noticed a lot lately that at my work (an electronics store) where I work behind the cash desk, a lot of people are incredibly disdainful and treat me as though I am below them. I don't really understand why; I work hard, and even if I'm not having the best day I still try my absolute hardest to be pleasant. After all, I'm taking large amounts of money from some members of the public. And yet - and I must stress that it's far from the majority of people who do this - there are some customers who are so awful and have no respect for me in my workplace. It sucks; it really does.

Then there are the people who push in front at the supermarket. The friends who change plans at the last minute and don't tell you. The children (!) who run past and knock things over without bothering to pick them up. The people who steal your car parks. The old people who cut in the queue at the deli. The women with prams in the food courts who assume right of way. The sulky store assistants. The up-market store assistants who assume you are too poor to even deign stepping inside. The people trying to get past who say only 'excuse me' with no please, as though it's your fault that they didn't plan their journey properly/have a large trolley/are just plain rude. Everyone is gulity of a bit of rudeness now and again, but seriously. I'm starting to lose faith in humanity.

My advice to everyone: make eye contact. Smile at people. Say 'please', 'thank you', 'hello' and 'goodbye'. Pay attention to where you're going. And remember: if you're nice to people, they'll generally be nice back. And that's where it starts.

Sound and feeling

You know, I was thinking the other day about emotions and how they relate to sounds. Kind of like image association, but aural and in reverse. Anyway, the one feeling that I thought had the clearest sound was loneliness. If loneliness were a sound, it would be a cavernous echo, that has been repeated so many times that you can't even tell what the original noise was. I honestly think that loneliness is one of the most powerful emotions; it's kind of consuming and has physical symptoms. That's why it's an echo - that sound perfectly mirrors the gnawing emptiness inside that is loneliness. Something to think about.

It's all relative

We're closing in on the end of winter (spring starts next week - when did that happen??), which means that in theory, the weather should be warming up, but in true Canberra fashion winter is making sure we don't forget the cold too soon. The mountains I can see from my house are covered in more snow than I've seen all season.

For my friend's birthday last night, a few of us went ice skating. While I'm not very good, I always have a good time, and honestly, it's a bit of a feat for me to enjoy physical activity, so I'm always happy to tag along. So, for two hours, five of us did rings around the ice rink. It was freezing in there - I was wearing my hoodie, two shirts, a skirt, track pants, tights, gloves and a scarf - and I did really feel sorry for the people who were just watching, because it would have been worse for them. But by the end of the night, I was incredibly warm (which I'm told is a usual effect of exercise). I ended up taking off my hoodie and carrying my coat and scarf; when we stepped outside, I could see my breath fogging up in front of me, but it felt quite pleasant outside of the rink (even though it could have been 5 degrees at most).

This lead me to think, cold, like so much else, is relative. Maybe next winter I'll spend a lot more time inside in the cold so I won't complain as much about being outside in it. But as we head into the hot Canberra summer, I have a feeling that I'll be crying out for my coat and boots sooner rather than later...

A scattering of thoughts

For the past two and a half weeks or so, I've been housesitting. Aside from the obvious getting used to sleeping in someone else's bed, how-their-kitchen-works thing, it's been pretty good! I think though, what I'm going to miss the most is the clothes dryer. I wish I had something more profound to offer; maybe how now I'm more accustomed to thinking about the nature of independence, or that I've discovered what I talk to myself about when no one else is around. But no, it's definitely the dryer. What I've come to realise, is that when you put your pyjamas in to the dryer for maybe 10 minutes, the feeling when you put them on is literally like a whole-body hug from a best friend who you haven't seen in ages (pretty specific example, I know...). It's almost inappropriate. I think it's safe to say that I have well and truly abused this appliance during my stay here... might have to start saving to get one of my own!



In other thoughts... I think that I've decided that nothing beats a really good hug. And this carries on from the feeling of having your pyjamas in the dryer (and incidentally, not much tops a hug from a friend you haven't seen in ages). I love them. I live for them. I've got a couple of friends who I honestly think could compete in the World Hugging Championships, if there were such a thing. A truly good hug feels like love though; it feels like the giver really means it. My friend Patt gives the hardcore, bone-crushing hugs that are halfway between laughing and crying. And my other friend Scott pretty much picks you off the ground. My brother's not too bad either, he just has a knack for picking the worst possible times (as I think is a God-given gift to most younger brothers, in terms of everything). A good hug should be given freely, and should communicate friendship and love. And romantic hugs are something else entirely. I've managed to write a fair bit on this topic... hmmm. I must be some kind of hug slut. I should look at this.


Finally, I've decided that I can never watch the movie The Notebook in the company of other people. You know the one... from 2004, with Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams, and based on the book by Nicholas Sparkes. Anyway, it's one of my favourite films, and I watch it every couple of months or so, and every single time, I cry in the final scenes. Like clockwork. And I've decided that it's just too embarrassing to share with people. Which is a pity, because I can think of a couple of people with whom I'd like to watch it, but I guess I'll just have to lend them the DVD. It's a public service really... what if they cry too? I don't think that sitting on a couch and blubbering over fictional characters is the best way to bond.

Coffee & Cigarettes

I am a caffeine addict.

I can't help it... I can't get through the day without my fix of tea or coffee. Preferably skim, preferably well made, preferably in a bucket. No sugar, thanks. I don't really see the point of drinking it if it doesn't appear like a lake in front of you; if it's good, you can't get enough of it. And anyway, it can often be a cost-effective (if wickedly unhealthy) meal-replacement option for us poor students, and hey, if it gets me through my lectures, I'm not going to complain.

Being at Uni, I come across a variety of people with a mix of views every day I go in. Most of these relate to the availability of computers, lecture clashes or gay marriage, but another major issue of constant contention is smoking. I belong to a minority, in that I am a non-smoker, but do not mind other people smoking around me. From what I have noticed, most people tend to be either staunchly (and vocally) opposed to smoking, or totally in favour. My friend T (a smoker)the other day raised what I thought was a valid point: that if, in Australia, we still have the right to smoke, then there should be designated areas (including certain pubs and institutions that have lost some of their ambience since the ban was introduced) where people are free to smoke, and non-smokers can avoid. My other friend B (non-smoker) thought this was the dumbest thing he'd ever heard, because the Government introduced the ban to give incentive for people to quit, so why on earth would they allow people to smoke inside?

While B does raise a valid point, every time I see an anti-smoking campaign funded by the Government, it makes me a little angry inside. Not because I feel as though it is infringing upon the rights of smokers, but more because everyone who chooses to smoke in Australia today is making an educated decision. It's drummed into us at school, for one thing - the side-effects are no secret. So if they choose to smoke regardless of risks, another ad campaign is hardly going to make them stop. To me, it feels like the Government is wasting precious taxpayer dollars making themselves look proactive about contemporary issues, while really doing nothing. It makes me angry.

But back to my original point. I remember when I was in primary school, and everyone thought smoking was seriously uncool. I maintained this view until I was maybe 17 and started watching foreign films - and was affected by the notion of experimentation and rebellion. Since then, I'm still not a smoker, but I have been known to dabble. The thing is... even though bogans and drunkies look incredibly foul when lighting up and make me sick to my stomach, every so often you notice the impossibly cool indie girl, or the tall dark stranger with a cigarette casually resting between their fingers and a trail of smoke dancing in a trail from the tip, and I realise: smoking is sexy. So as much as I don't want to get emphysema, I can never be anti-smoking for the simple reason that when done well, it is one of the most attractive looks on the planet.

One of my favourite film directors, Jim Jarmusch, got it pretty right. In 2003, he made a movie called 'Coffee and Cigarettes'. And quite frankly... I'd be happy to live in that black-and-white wonderland for the rest of my life.

Words of interest.

Fulgurate

To flash or dart like lightning



Morganatic

Of or pertaining to a form of marriage in which a person of high rank, as a member of nobility, marries someone of lower station with the stipulation that neither the low-ranking spouse nor their children, if any, will have any claim on the titles or entailed property of the high-ranking partner



Impedimenta

Baggage or other items that impede one's progress

It's all a matter of perception, really...

If you were to ask a few of my friends what my compulsions are, they would probably say photo-taking*. Just about every time I leave the house, I have my camera with me and am known to pull it out on random occasions and take pictures that are a mixture of posed and candid. I love it... I'd call it my passion, but I think that's underrating the nature of a 'passion'.

Because I take photos so regularly (and I mean, regularly. I have 40+ albums on Facebook, most of which have more than 100 photos in them. My catchphrase tends to be "consider yourself tagged"; my friend Andy has 124 photos on the social networking site, and of them I've taken all bar about 6. Nathan was tagged in nearly 200 of my photos, before he deleted his profile), I am well accustomed to what you could call my 'style'. I love group photos, mostly candid, where there is stuff happening in the background as well as the foreground. I like photos with more than one person, usually, but trying to catch their personality or emotion at the time.

What I noticed recently, was that everyone sees the world a bit differently. How? Well, a couple of months ago, I didn't feel like taking the photos myself and so entrusted my camera to my friend for the evening, instructing him to take as many photos as he wanted. The result - a lot of portrait-style, zoomed in shots of my friends faces, taken throughout various stages of the evening. Not at all what I would have taken, which was brilliant! It was the first time I'd ever noticed the subtle differences in the way that people look at the world around them.

A few weeks after this, I went on a road trip to Queensland, where we used a video camera to document our exploits. It was awesome, because we realised when looking back at the footage that it was possible to identify who'd been filming which parts because of what was the focus. Once again, I was astounded by the simple differences in the way that everyone looks at things. It's probably because of this that we get such a variety of films, books, tv shows and works of art. It's one of my favourite things about people, and I hope that I never get used to the idea of the way we see things. Because after all, people can always offer an alternate point of view - on everything. And that's really pretty cool.

*Not photography. I'm not trained or qualified, and I wouldn't dare label my photos as 'art'. Maybe one day, but definitely not yet.

Itchy feet...

One thing about me is, I really like to travel. A few years ago, I moved to England for 12 months and had a brilliant time, seeing a fair chunk of the UK, Ireland and Europe. Honestly, one of the best years ever (and I haven't even had 21 to choose from yet!). The only thing was, it totally ruined me forever, because now all I want to do is travel. It seems like every time I cross somewhere off my list of places to go, I add another three... and all of them seem to be overseas, and tend to be on the more expensive side of dreaming.


It's not that I don't like Australia - not even close. There is so much of Australia that I haven't seen, and I keep hearing about places that would be cool to see (like the Big Pineapple and the Big Mango). But, when it boils down to it, Oz is quite same-y. It's great fun - the beaches are brilliant, there's good food, good shopping and lots of things to see, but when it boils down to it, it's still Australia. Everyone has mostly the same accent, and a similar background. I was born here, I've grown up here, and so, I think Australia is just the familiar to me, and is therefore less interesting than, say, Paris. Or Morocco. Or Istanbul. Or Thailand. You get the picture.


A girl I used to work with had no interest at all in travelling the rest of the world. This idea was so alien to me - I mean, sure Australia's got a lot going for it, but imagine all the people you can meet, and the things you can see, and the cuisines you can try elsewhere! But, each to their own. Some people want to see and experience the world. Others are perfectly content in their own spheres. The only people I have problems with are those who want to see the world, but not experience it (and that includes not understanding why everywhere else doesn't speak English. Come on, people).


I found out recently that I could be moving back to the UK next year for about six months. Brilliant! Hopefully, it'll all work out - then I can satisfy my wanderlust (or at least sate it for a while). I've got my fingers crossed, anyway!

Ain't what she used to be...

I finished Uni for the semester a couple of weeks ago, and to celebrate went to Queensland with a few friends for about a week. We drove, and for those of you playing at home, it's approximately a seventeen hour drive to Coolum, and around 1350 km. Going up, we took two nights (staying in Taree and Byron Bay respectively), and on the way back we drove straight through (we left Coolum at 10.30 in the morning, and arrived back at 4.30am on Wednesday!). It was awesome though - although I don't think I've ever listened to as much Backstreet Boys, *Nsync and Adam Lambert as I did on that trip. Interestingly enough, I was travelling with all boys. Go figure on the soundtrack - none of that stuff came from My iPod!!

Anyway, I returned from the trip two days ago, and have done very little with my time since then. Oh, I lie... I went out for dinner with some friends last night at this brilliant dumpling cafe in near my Uni. But I digress.

Every time I hit holidays, I tend to bum around in my pyjamas a lot, spend an inordinate amount of time on social networking sites, and watch a lot of movies. This morning, I seem to have done all three. Yes, it is 2.38pm and I am still in my pyjamas. I have Facebook open on my computer, and I just watched the 1984 masterpiece Sixteen Candles. Which actually brings me to the point I want to make.



Teen movies are not at all what they used to be. Honestly. John Hughes was a friggin' genius. What have teens got now? Oh, the Twilight series. Woo. Looking at current releases, films in the cinema now and coming in the next week or so include Toy Story 3, Shrek Forever After, Grown Ups, Get Him to the Greek, The A-Team, Sex and the City 2, Animal Kingdom, Prince of Persia and Robin Hood. The only ones in there that could be likened to a 'teen' comedy would be Grown Ups and Get Him to the Greek, and maybe (maybe!) Prince of Persia. The problem being that the two former films are more aimed at twentysomethings - a slightly older demographic - and Prince of Persia I found to be aimed less at a specific age and more just anyone who likes Jake Gyllenhall, gaming and/or the desert. I went and saw it, and loved it, and so did my parents. So.



What I'm trying to say is, what happened to the brilliant, often tongue-in-cheek and hilarious teen films of the 1980s and 1990s? This is not just because I have a girl crush on young Molly Rigwald to rival the one on Florence, but because I noticed that films like Ferris Bueller, The Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, Clueless, Pretty in Pink and 10 Things I Hate About You just don't seem to appear any more. I really hope this isn't because of the success of asexual Disney HSM series - I miss my teen movies that while idealised and exaggerated, riddled with cliches and stereotypes, don't gloss over the fact that teenagers swear, are rude, hate themselves and often each other, and think about - and talk about, and want to have - sex. The American Pie films went over this a fair bit, but even they're dated now. The last real teen films I can think of are 2003's How to Deal and 2004's Eurotrip, both of which I loved. But even then, they are dated. Superbad is up there too. But even 2008's Juno has mature themes and a moral message, and is more about action/consequence rather than just a comedic romp through one of the most awkward times of life.

I just think it's sad. Where have my clever teen films gone??

Anatomy of a girl crush

Urban Dictionary:

Girl Crush

Feelings of admiration and adoration a girl has for another girl, without wanting to shag said girl. A nonsexual attraction, usually based on veneration at some level.

"I have a total girl crush on a girl from a band. She can sing, she's GORGEOUS, she's doing an awesome degree and she's intelligent. I want to BE her."

This is a pretty accurate description of a girl crush, I think. In a recent issue of Cleo or Cosmo (can't remember which), they went over the details of a girl crush, which is becoming more and more popularised. The girl they used in the article was Alexa Chung, who is honestly one of the coolest women alive.

My current girl crush is Florence from Florence and the Machine. I'm a little bit in love - I don't want to date her, and I'm not a lesbian. But I adore her dress sense, general look, and her voice. I think if I met her, I would actually be speechless (a big thing for me!) and just not know where to look. She's amazing.

I think it's good now that girl crushes can be acknowledged publically without one's sexuality being questioned. Sexuality is such a grey area that pervades pretty much every aspect of modern Western culture, but I think it's awesome that I can express my little crush (okay, my massive crush) on another girl without being suddenly labelled as a lesbian, just as I'm sure that a lesbian would not necessarily be assumed to be straight just because they said they really liked David Tennant, or someone. I like it.

But seriously... if you don't have Florence and the Machine's Lungs, get into it. Awesome stuff.

The hazards of the new generation

So... I lost my mobile phone today. I'm pretty sure that I left it in my friend's car this afternoon, but the really depressing part is that I honestly feel like I've lost a limb. This is how dependent on technology I am, it's only been about five hours and I've got that little panicky feeling in my stomach (even though I know that there probably isn't any messages on there, and probably none that aren't from my mother). I feel like such a product of my generation, and that depresses me a little bit! I'm mostly concerned that when I do get it back, I will get depressed if I don't have any missed correspondence. Screw Gen Y, seriously. I want my life back.

In other news, a very good friend of mine was in a highly argumentative mood last night, because he hadn't had his daily reading/psychology fix. To tell the truth, I'm pretty happy that someone other than myself has withdrawals without their daily helping of the written word! Speaking of, if you haven't already, get into the works of Markus Zusak. The man is a visionary - I'd recommend The Messenger for sure, and I'm working my way through The Book Thief, which is truly, truly brilliant. He has some incredibly unique and thought-provoking ideas on the concepts of reality and individualism... and it's very well written, too!

Soundtracks to study

Of course, I'm writing this when I should be finishing off a rather large assignment. But it's not a very fun assignment, and I'm sure I'll have it done before it's due (tomorrow!). It's kind of my process... I can't function without a little bit of stress thrown in the mix. Probably not healthy, but whatever works, I guess. The other thing is that I can't work in silence. I suck at tests for this reason; the sound of no noise freaks me out and makes any piece of assessment seem bigger than it is. That's why, when I'm at home, I constantly have the stereo on... or if that's not possible, my ipod.

Today, I've got James Morrison's Undiscovered, The Avett Brothers' I and Love and You and Paolo Nutini's These Streets playing... I must be in a bit of a mellow mood. I was talking to a friend of mine the other day about what music we have playing while assignmenting (yes, that is a verb now). His preferred soundtrack is composed of albums including Lisa Mitchell's Wonder and Dash & Wills Up in Something and Lily Allen's It's Not Me, It's You. Needless to say, he's a sucker for the female vocal. I'm more the opposite (although, I'm going through a bit of a Florence & The Machine phase... her voice is just brilliant. Speaking of, I found this clip of her performing with Dizzee Rascal at the Brit Awards. Love, a little bit).

Other CDs that I've had on repeat over the past couple of weeks have been the greatest hits of David Bowie, Phoenix's Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix, Newton Faulkner's Handbuilt by Robots and Rebuilt by Humans, Mojo Juju's Sellin' You Salvation, MGMT's Oracular Spectacular and the soundtrack to The Boat that Rocked.

What can I say... I've got good taste!

Artistically Inclined

This semester at Uni, I took an Art History unit that was to do with all things Russian. When I was at school, I did a very basic History class that covered the Russian Revolution, and when I was a kid, I think I just about wore through my video copy of Anastasia (you remember, the cartoon with the voices of Meg Ryan and John Cusak?). So I figured that I had enough of an interest to stimulate me through an entire unit.

Little did I know, that I would find someone who would become one of my favourite artists, Marc Chagall.

Never really a massive fan of symbolist works, and generally disdainful of anything that could broadly be described as Post-Impressionist, I was surprised at how much I really, really appreciate his works. Probably because they're all introspective reflections of where he was emotionally and mentally at the time, there's a gentle beauty and something universal about his paintings. They all feel like memories (and a lot of them feature Vitebsk, the town in Belarus where he grew up) or just plain feelings. I don't think I'd ever picked up on the emotive level of painting as acutely as I did when I was studying the work of Chagall. And I've only seen reproductions on Google!

I'm now pretty keen to go to Russia (and MoMA, and Paris) to see his works in the flesh, so to speak. I'm a little bit in love.

(The images I've included here are his Promenade from 1917-18, which is in the State Russian Museum in Moscow, and Red Nude Sitting Up (1908) which is in a private collection).

Cash Flow

So, I was on Facebook the other day (honestly, I don't know what I'd do were it not for social networking - probably my assignments!) when I noticed that there is a new 'like' page called "University: It's like being on the dole, but your parents are proud of you". This made me giggle, at least until I realised how true it is.

For most of last year - 2009 - I was a recipient of the Australian Government's Youth Allowance scheme. This was perfect, because it meant that I only had to work a couple of days a week, and providing that I didn't earn too much, I'd get a small amount of money deposited in my account every second Monday courtesy of KRudd to help with study costs. Over the summer holidays, however, with no studies to distract me, I worked pretty much full time - and was cut off from my study money! Honestly, that was one of the worst letters I'd ever received. So, I waited until my earnings had dropped again, and reapplied a few weeks ago. God forbid I have to live on my own money during term time.

The best part? My parents ARE proud of me. My Mum in particular encouraged me to reapply for Youth Allowance as soon as I could (and let's not beat around the bush; it's effectively the dole). I'm thinking that I should milk this for all it's worth - I get the feeling that no one would be proud of me for receiving Centrelink payments once I've graduated.

Oh - and if anyone's interested in that Facebook group, you can find it here.